Have you ever heard of Rosemarie Kanzler? Most probably not. Born in 1915, she had many careers, none really bringing her to the top of international fame, but making her rich on the way and allowing her to live an enviable life. She came further in life than any of us, without hers becoming a household name. During a part of her life she worked, during others she married, always being able to stick to her money.
What makes her different and a role model is her attitude to life. We talk so much today about not getting dragged down by circumstances, bad luck, bad colleagues, nasty family members, lack of money etc. There is an industry of self-help books and tutorials out there that try to teach the average person how not to fall into a puddle of self-pity and misery when something remotely problematic happens. We have become whiners, sorry to say that. Rosemarie Kanzler would have had no patience for that.
She knew her story would be not picked up by a journalist or biographer after her death, and she decided to set herself a memorial without waiting in vain for others to do it. I was lucky enough to buy a copy of the elegantly bound autobiography “Yesterday is gone” when it was readily available. It was a chance buy, I had read about her only in fashion designer Arnold Scaasi’s book about his customers, was intrigued and ordered it. Rosemarie Kanzler let an author write her book and uses third person style, but it is very clear she tells her story on her own terms.
We see an ambitious young woman, born in Switzerland, who grew to become a famous singer in Germany, fled during the Second World War to Cuba, continued to live in South America, moving then to the United States and becoming a global jet-setter. The husbands she collected were interchangeable. Had she not married Ernest Kanzler, Ford’s former vice president and banker, she would have found an equally suitable one. Rosemarie Kanzler was never made by anybody, she found opportunities and adapted to them. The only thing she knew for sure was that she wanted no boring life, the life of the “little men”. She wanted a life “full of music, full of beauty, full of drama” (p 31).
Her unique quality of dealing with blows in life becomes apparent early in the book. She had trained to become an opera singer, as the opera seemed to her an accessible way for a young nobody with a very good voice. She worked very hard for years to train her voice, took lessons, exercised. Her dream was crushed as her voice gave in. Her reaction is what made her different. Here a quote from the book: “she woke up one morning to find that her chances of becoming an opera prima donna were irreversibly wiped out. The shock brought bitter tears. She retreated into her childhood bedroom and didn’t want to see anyone for a whole day. When she finally emerged, she felt strong again” (p 56).
Your life’s dream gets crushed and you retire ONE DAY, then pick yourself up again and try the next best thing? Mind you, she did not only do it when she was young, she kept the attitude and the steely resolve throughout her life.
She emerged as a singer of less demanding songs and made a career in Germany after ensnaring an important band leader. After some years of success, she fled the country and the war to Cuba in 1941, loosing quite a few possessions. Her story continues like that. Ups and downs, back and forth, always moving, always great times alternating with drama. Once she had three husbands in one year, but whatever she did, she was a down to earth woman of great intelligence and managed to be not ruled by emotions or whims. She adapted to become an American “corporate wife” for Ernest Kanzler (who died in 1967), married again and divorced. She never stopped her routine with parties, various households around the world (Greece, Argentina, France, London) and the friends she had made.
She summarized her attitude to life in her autobiography in an afterword (it starts on page 579, so you can see she had a lot of stories to tell). I bring together the most important points, sometimes in her words, sometimes in mine, as they are a perfect guide to more resilience:
- One should not dwell in the past, one should make the most of today
- Bringing beauty to those around you
- Always seek the uplifting
- Try to be fair
- Treat people as you want to be treated (she included animals. People who treat animals bad, deserve bad treatment themselves)
- Try to find something cheery every day
- Make real friends (she wrote that her stepchildren grew from family into real friends. What an intelligent thing to say. Hold friendship over family. Friends one chooses, family one gets)
- Try to be your best every day
- Turn the page and move on
- Love your body and live!
- Role with the waves
- Try to connect, create atmospheres for those you care about
- Life is not pretty
- Neither good times, nor bad times stay forever. Things change
- Everybody is borne alone and dies alone
In her obituary in the NEW YORK TIMES (just google it) she is quoted stating that she had a good nose for timing (changes). She proved it with her autobiography as well. She started it in 1998, finished it in 2000, had the book party in September 2000 and died in December 2000.
I salute you, Mrs. Kanzler. To learn and master your attitude to life is a worthy target. May you be remembered forever.
All rights to the book belong to:
Kanzler, Rosemarie: Yesterday is gone, the story of Rosemarie Kanzler as told to Kathryn Livingston, 2000, text copyright by Rosemarie Kanzler. Photos by Rosemarie Kanzler/Reto Guntli, concept, design and photoediting: Reto Guntli, Printed in Germany. Sorry, I cannot find any ISBN on or in my copy.
Scaasi, Arnold: Scaasi: Women I have dressed (and undressed), 2004, “A Lisa Drew Book”, trademark of Simon&Schuster Inc., who published that work, manufactured in the United States of America, ISBN: 0-7432-4695-0