Melania Trump, no doubt, gets defined through her marriage that catapulted her from a semi-successful model to an international celebrity.
You like her husband? You think her lucky to have made such a catch. You hate her husband? You wonder how she can live with him and if she is held prisoner like Britney Spears was by the people surrounding her.
Melania Trump does not say much and she does not crave the limelight for herself or causes that seem very important to her. Not many things seem to be terribly important to her, anyway. She shows a coolness and nonchalance to most of life’s surprises that one can only envy. To me she is also a deeply rational person with a keen sense for power shifts in human relations.
The one thing that really means a lot to her is her family. Her parents, her sister, and her son, they all depend on her and she seems to care deeply for them.
The relationship to her husband has undergone changes. In the beginning, when they met in 1998, they were clearly smitten by each other. Her beauty was exceptional to him and she was clearly very happy about her suitor. Her modelling career had never really taken off in the grand way before, but with his help she got more recognition. Everyone needs luck to make a career, everyone needs someone who believes in them. For Melania this was her future husband. I doubt she has ever forgotten his support in the early days.
After they married in 2005, her focus changed to family. Her only son is clearly the most important human being to her and a lot of what she did afterwards seems to have been with a rational view on his (and her) continued financial well-being. To be able to marry, she had to sign a rather strict pre-nuptial agreement. She did it, as it was the precondition to gain any rights at all.
One can only speculate about what one feels when one is supposed to sign such a contract being the poorer part of a relationship – for sure it is not a romantic experience. But it is also understandable that someone who owns a lot does not want to share it in equal parts with somebody else. There is no guarantee at all for a lifelong happy relationship.
Melania Trump has learned from that experience before she married, as she at least twice or trice re-negotiated the agreement in her favour. She did that when her husband needed her to do something, not to give open criticism, or to appear in public. She cooly reacted in the same businesslike way he had introduced to the relationship when it came to money. Probably he respects her for that. It is the only dignified way to play such a game. Most women do not do this or forget what they once signed to regret it later. Not Melania Trump.
That each of those successful renegotiations has reached the press might not have been her husband’s wish. Why it was leaked? One can only guess that she does not want herself to be seen as the victim of her marriage, as some well-intentioned, but ill-informed people called her, but as an equal partner.
Melania Trump behaves like a very clever business woman. In business, you do not re-negotiate your employment contract with threatening to leave. You also do not gamble for better conditions before you have agreed to a future in your company. Many people make the mistake to ask for better conditions when they are weakest, meaning when they want or need something from their employer. One has to negotiate when one is strong and when the other side needs you more than before. Mind you – the other side never needs you more than you need them. In business the company is always more powerful than the employee. In a relationship the richer part is always more powerful than the poorer part. Taking all this in good humour and grace is an art. Not becoming bitter or negative is the most important step to lead a happy life.
It is difficult to ask for something when you see the other side needs you and you have sympathy for them. I personally admire Melania Trump for her skill. If she would ever decide to write a “help yourself book”, I would be the first to buy it. A pity the chances for that are very low.
There is no reason to believe Melania Trump would not have been perfectly content to be a rich, happily married wife and mother. She certainly did not crave the First Lady title and the lack of privacy that comes with it. From what I read, I got the conviction that she is happiest when she can mind her own business and care for the pretty normal interests she has. She likes fashion, she likes cosmetics. She is beautiful, well-groomed and knows how to dress. The pictures that accompany the article show this clearly. Nothing to be ashamed about. Why should everybody want to dance in the limelight or try to save the world? I do not mean that cynical. It is just unfair to expect from somebody else to love your heart affairs as much as you do.
There are quite a few examples about this in the books quoted here. A lot of people seem to think they own the truth. It must be annoying and it is patronizing when they try to make her to move in their direction. Melania Trump has had her fair share of it. She smiled and did nothing she did not like to do. A very cool woman in the best sense of the word. Cool like Robert Mitchum, Steve McQueen, Errol Flynn, Alain Delon or Carole Lombard.
The only time she reacts with anger and a statement is when people who were in her inner circle publish books about her or give interviews. I assume it is annoying when people tell their truth about you and you cannot really react. Noone likes this, but an angry statement also does not change anything.
Melania Trump is someone who commands respect. She has made her way so far without making any major mistakes. She has been growing with her role and her possibilities. Not everyone is in a position to take advantage of more opportunities, a lot of people are clearly overwhelmed by chances. In her case, I bet she has the capacity for more.
All rights to the books belong to:
Grisham, Stephanie: I’ll Take Your Questions Now, WHAT I SAW AT THE TRUMP WHITE HOUSE, 2021, an Imprint by HarperCollins Publishers, in this case the kindle version by HarperCollins e-books, First Edition, ISBN: 978-0-06-314295-4, Print ISBN: 978-0-06-314293-0
Hicks, L.D.: Melania trump, ELEGANCE IN THE WHITE HOUSE, 2019, published by Post Hill Press, New York, Nashville, printed in Korea, ISBN: 978-1-64293-326-0
Jordan, Mary: THE ART OF HER DEAL, THE UNTOLD STORY OF MELANIA TRUMP, 2020, published by Simon & Schuster, 1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020, manufactured in the United States, ISBN: 978-1-9821-1340-7
Winston Wolkoff, Stephanie: Melania and Me, THE RISE AND FALL OF MY FRIENDSHIP WITH THE FIRST LADY, 2020, first published in the United States by Gallery Books, an imprint of Simon & Schuster Inc., first published in Great Britain by Simon 6 Schuster UK Ldt., printed in the UK by CPI Group, ISBN: 978-1-3985-0121-8