Life changes direction from time to time and one better accepts it and tries to ride the wave, even if one is scared.
Sometimes one makes unintentional choices that lead in a certain direction and suddenly one arrives at a crossroads and decides to change a few things.
At other times, one feels quite comfortable as it is and suddenly (and without asking you first!) things change and one feels like going overboard in a storm, staying barely above water.
The precondition for a happy change experience is that one accepts it.
If you don’t, you feel overwhelmed and stressed and you hate every minute of it, but still things change around you and you are forced into a direction you don’t want. You perform accordingly and things spiral downwards, including you becoming a pest to your peers as you get negative and cumbersome.
In my case at a certain time, I was unhappy with my job. Constant travelling had kept me busy and there were nice success stories in the various projects I had started.
Still, through changes in the company, I had to start adapting. Not that I wanted it. The job changed and I travelled less. A new boss had different demands on my time. It seemed less important what I thought my duties were (the duties I had got accustomed to and felt comfortable with).
At the time it seemed a drama. I started to feel most unhappy and badgered. I was feeling very depressed and unwelcome, even prevented to do my job right.
I fought very hard for a trip to the other end of the earth. The boss used to postpone it in order to nettle me. Finally, I went.
And I took Kristi Belle’s little book with me. “La Bella Figura, how to live a chic, simple, and European- inspired life”. Why did I choose it to come along?
Because I was looking for lightness in my life?
Because it was small and easy to pack?
Because I’d given a lot for being the chic lady on the front cover sitting in a beautiful city, relaxed, sipping on a coffee and enjoying life?
Because the concept of “La Bella Figura” in general, to always look and give your best in every situation, appealed to me? I had always lived to that standard, not knowing why, but it seemed right.
I don’t know why I packed it. But it was the right book at the right time.
The book changed my view on many things. It was exactly what I needed back then. It was totally inspiring to change from pretending to be important to become comfortable within myself.
I read whenever I had time on the trip and I thought about every page. Even whilst travelling I got the feeling this was my last trip (it wasn’t, but definitely something changed within me). The importance of hurrying around the world became shallow. Maybe I didn’t impress myself any more.
The good things in life are about taking time, sitting down and enjoying yourself.
Walk, don’t run, stop to look around, take beauty in.
Ah, beauty is all around you, especially in nature. Appreciate it! Take notice!
Be grateful for everything you have. For everything and everyone you love and like in your life. No need for the “big” love of two humans. That gives joy and destroys, there are also simpler ways of being really, really happy and content. Appreciate the people and things around you, focus on the good part, don’t dwell on bad things, don’t become a whiner.
I am European and the book is written from an American lady for Americans who want to live a more “European” lifestyle. Let’s be honest, most likely even Italians crave for that extra portion of perfect nonchalance that Kristi Belle writes about.
There are two exercises in the book I spent a lot of time on. They are incredibly rewarding.
- What are the five most important values in your life? Like eg independence, health, beauty etc etc. After you have identified them, try to give them more space in your life
- Before your inner eye, create your alter ego. Who would you be, in which country, with whom and what would you do in your most perfect me-moment?
This book is inspiring in an unobtrusive way. Sometimes a lot of wisdom comes in one little sentence. Everybody comes to other conclusions, but the book helps you define what is really important for you and what makes you happy. Do small steps first, then bigger ones to change your life into the direction of what makes you happy. It can be very difficult to define honestly for yourself what you want from life without those little exercises.
After I had started to think it over, I did a lot of calculations on money and made decisions that left me more independent. I lost a lot of fear.
Great side effect: one year before Corona put the travelling circus to a stop, I had understood that it has been great, but shall not be fulfilling in the future. I didn’t care so much anymore about the next trip. I learned enjoying the good sides of being at home and having more time for myself, long before the lockdowns. Regular sports, moving to a much nicer new home, taking more time for family and friends and hobbies was a very good change to always packing bags for remote destinations.
This book put my perceptions about my job and my importance to its place. It made me realize that reacting with openness and flexibility is way more fulfilling than sticking exactly to what I had done before. I became more easy-going, adapted to change and suddenly new possibilities opened up.
If one becomes rigid with fear because there’s change around the corner, one should stop and take deep breaths. Rigidity makes you vulnerable and you might break, because change is usually stronger than you.
Love it, leave it, change it. So important to understand that “change it” means change your perception of things, change your attitude. You can’t change circumstances or other people. But you can change and decide to be happy, wherever you are.
All rights to the book belong to:
Belle, Kristi: La Bella Figura, How to live a chic, simple, and European-inspired Life, First Edition November 3rd, 2017 Published by Kristi Belcamino 2017, printed in Germany by Amazon Distribution GmbH, Leipzig, ISBN9781540649478